I realized I have an internal manual of how everyone around me should behave. My husband, my kids, my boss, my friends, my family, and my patients. I found that when they don’t behave the way that I’m anticipating, I get frustrated, angry, and annoyed. A few examples of these are:
- Why can’t people stop complaining?
- Why doesn’t my family keep the house clean?
- Why didn’t my husband take out the trash?
I make up all kinds of stories in my head about why people do what they do. From these stories, I can easily get myself into a funk. I’m not the best version of myself, and I don’t behave in a way that serves me when I am in a funk or in a bad mood.
What I realized is that I feel so much better when I erase the manual. Trying to control other people is absolutely exhausting, especially when I realized that we can’t actually control them!
Once my kids became teenagers, even they became difficult to control. So I stopped trying, threw away the manual, and started talking and listening. Trying to understand why people make the decisions that they do is so much more helpful and beneficial to me and my life. Meeting them where they are, and trying to understand has been absolutely game-changing.
Instead of trying to change people, I am learning to understand them and accept them as who they are at that point in their lives. I might not agree with everything, but I can let them be them. It is so liberating to just love my family and my friends, and even my co-workers and patients, and not try to control them or how I think that they should be acting in a specific scenario. I’ve found that life coaching has enabled me to be a better listener and a more engaged speaker. What have you found that has enabled you in your life to be more mindful and present? Or, is this something that you are struggling with right now? Please reach out to me with your insight and thoughts. I’m looking forward to connecting with you.